hrmm so what to do with my life? everything seems to be falling into place right now and the usual hopeful but deep-down-disbelieving self seems to have given way once things have given that reassuring glimmer of hope that i have been waiting for and working for- for so long. i feel a sort of long-time-coming change has happened, but it seems to have happened less gradually than it maybe 'realistically' would- but after so much supression.
i feel like i've grown. i have a different perspective- seemingly everywhere- eyes, ears, mind, etc. it's exciting but also relieving. and i know that all the hard stuff isn't over. but i've got a reflection of progress as a faith booster/ i feel like i'm leaving finally on a journey that i've been planning for years and it's a bit scary but in a good way- the way it feels to start a new book, a new relationship, a new journey, a new road in life.
peace
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
happen
its all happening! so exhilarating- our efforts have not been for nothing- we are really doing it. now. we have not and will not take no for an answer, we wont back down and those seven swords can eat our fucking wand dust because we will stand and fight.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
flow of things for now
hrmmm
been reading some u. s. anderson lately... interesting stuff from 1954. also finally getting around to the newer chuck klosterman that ive been meaning to get at for like a year. amber and i are both having trouble with the concepts of work and poverty manifesting into these obstacles for us. i wish i could say it's easy to be impoverished all of time, for even though we handle it with grace and even romanticize it for our bohemian selves, that doesn't mean it doesn't suck sometimes. we are having so many equipment related issues lately. we need so much music equipment, and most expensively a new com puter. we decided not to waste out money on another cheap pc, so were going to try to save up for an imac that will at least not physically crumble in our hands after a fortnight. weve also been having issues with managing our time in between periods working lots and then not working much. aaaand were trying to find ways to enrich and express co-existingly on our independent levels as well as collectively (as we have become so accustomed to). we have been reading more, writing more, trying to do more. i think we have been just waiting for this day to come when we can just wake up and have the place and all the stuff we need to do our art and music and writing and reading and expressing and impressing and etc etc. but if we keep putting that into the future, we'd be no different than any one else who does such things. i think we need to try to be the people we want to be / the people we already are - everyday. i think the lacking of materials and equipment is just getting used as an excuse for not doing this stuff, and i think its something we just have to overcome in what ever way necessary. we have access to computers at the school, or we have access to picking up shifts at work so we can save up for this shit. i decided that i'm going to do a day in the life of me. not what i do or what i have or who i have to be for anyone else, blah blah blah. i mean the person / spirit within me that i see and dream about. the person that i want to become outwardly that i already am inwardly. i don't need to save myself or any of my ideas for the future. those things are all brilliantly eternal and repleneshing and growing anew every moment. i won't spend myself. so, a day in the life of me. i want to start today, tomorrow, immediately, but i realizer that such an effort will wasted if not done whole heartedly, which could be hard when i'm serving tables for about half of the day. therefore i'm going to plan this on a full day off. i want to see what a day in the life of me is really like. until then weve been making an effort to make sure we are going out and supporting alot of local bands playin around and chattin it up with everyone in the scene. there are so many cool places at our disposal here in this city and we just don't utilize them enough, plus its good karma (vastly better put than networking, i think), and it's good inspiration.
whew! such a strange point in time for us! we are being tested and challenged in a big way, and though we have been hoping all along for everything to just break through and get a little easier, our intuition has told us that it will not happen this way. we have been overwhelmed and challenged by like seven fucking piercing swords but instead of running away even when we see no easy sailing, we pull out the magic fucking wands. ((just like the W.A.N.D.)) here's to us knowing what we are doing.
been reading some u. s. anderson lately... interesting stuff from 1954. also finally getting around to the newer chuck klosterman that ive been meaning to get at for like a year. amber and i are both having trouble with the concepts of work and poverty manifesting into these obstacles for us. i wish i could say it's easy to be impoverished all of time, for even though we handle it with grace and even romanticize it for our bohemian selves, that doesn't mean it doesn't suck sometimes. we are having so many equipment related issues lately. we need so much music equipment, and most expensively a new com puter. we decided not to waste out money on another cheap pc, so were going to try to save up for an imac that will at least not physically crumble in our hands after a fortnight. weve also been having issues with managing our time in between periods working lots and then not working much. aaaand were trying to find ways to enrich and express co-existingly on our independent levels as well as collectively (as we have become so accustomed to). we have been reading more, writing more, trying to do more. i think we have been just waiting for this day to come when we can just wake up and have the place and all the stuff we need to do our art and music and writing and reading and expressing and impressing and etc etc. but if we keep putting that into the future, we'd be no different than any one else who does such things. i think we need to try to be the people we want to be / the people we already are - everyday. i think the lacking of materials and equipment is just getting used as an excuse for not doing this stuff, and i think its something we just have to overcome in what ever way necessary. we have access to computers at the school, or we have access to picking up shifts at work so we can save up for this shit. i decided that i'm going to do a day in the life of me. not what i do or what i have or who i have to be for anyone else, blah blah blah. i mean the person / spirit within me that i see and dream about. the person that i want to become outwardly that i already am inwardly. i don't need to save myself or any of my ideas for the future. those things are all brilliantly eternal and repleneshing and growing anew every moment. i won't spend myself. so, a day in the life of me. i want to start today, tomorrow, immediately, but i realizer that such an effort will wasted if not done whole heartedly, which could be hard when i'm serving tables for about half of the day. therefore i'm going to plan this on a full day off. i want to see what a day in the life of me is really like. until then weve been making an effort to make sure we are going out and supporting alot of local bands playin around and chattin it up with everyone in the scene. there are so many cool places at our disposal here in this city and we just don't utilize them enough, plus its good karma (vastly better put than networking, i think), and it's good inspiration.
whew! such a strange point in time for us! we are being tested and challenged in a big way, and though we have been hoping all along for everything to just break through and get a little easier, our intuition has told us that it will not happen this way. we have been overwhelmed and challenged by like seven fucking piercing swords but instead of running away even when we see no easy sailing, we pull out the magic fucking wands. ((just like the W.A.N.D.)) here's to us knowing what we are doing.
Saturday, July 05, 2008
pirate
saw pirate tonite at skully's. the two bands that opened for them were ok. both seemed a little josh-y (our code for christians in disguise). were actually quite good at spotting them, and havent been wrong yet. pirate was good, people had pirate flags as well as flags for random countries that were being tossed about. they are doing a free show at the newport and shooting it for a music video next saturday that i think were going to go to. also ran into jake - just being himself as always. we might go check out the event he's promoting tomorrow night; after party following the gallery hop at high five. maybe.
Friday, July 04, 2008
sound
weve been so busy lately and luckily weve still been able to throw some practice time in there. we made some great progress with a couple songs the other nite and will try to continue doing so. kind of at the point where we want to expand into a full band so that we can start playing gigs as much as possible, but:
A. its so difficult to find a decent drummer or bassist. we dont even need someone who is extremely skilled as much as we need someone we feel connects with us and the music. Everyone who is available seems to be either a middle aged suburbanite looking to kill time or a metalhead just out of high school still too young to get into bars. No one weve noticed yet seems to fit even the genre of the music let alone shows promise as someone who shares a vision about music or art. The drummer is becoming extremely necessary at this point.
B. Our material is still too much of a folk-rock hybrid, and isn't yet exactly what we want it to become. We've started working on this, and seem to be doing some cool things- it actually sounds the way it was intended.
so what to do? we have had an intuitive feeling that the drummer we need will just be around and we should be observant and look for signs / keep the feelers out / the awareness up, rather than picking one out of a craigslist ad or rushing to find someone who isn't right. of coarse we've been needing one for a while now and it is becoming difficult to progress! so, what to do?!
A. its so difficult to find a decent drummer or bassist. we dont even need someone who is extremely skilled as much as we need someone we feel connects with us and the music. Everyone who is available seems to be either a middle aged suburbanite looking to kill time or a metalhead just out of high school still too young to get into bars. No one weve noticed yet seems to fit even the genre of the music let alone shows promise as someone who shares a vision about music or art. The drummer is becoming extremely necessary at this point.
B. Our material is still too much of a folk-rock hybrid, and isn't yet exactly what we want it to become. We've started working on this, and seem to be doing some cool things- it actually sounds the way it was intended.
so what to do? we have had an intuitive feeling that the drummer we need will just be around and we should be observant and look for signs / keep the feelers out / the awareness up, rather than picking one out of a craigslist ad or rushing to find someone who isn't right. of coarse we've been needing one for a while now and it is becoming difficult to progress! so, what to do?!
last nite
went to see brainbow, lions, and russian circles last nite.. doing a write up of that. brainbow and russian circles were awesome. lions... well they worked hard but i just dont think anybody was feeling it. they even tried crowd pleasing tricks like saying 'columbus, ohio' and 'ohio state university', and they kept trying to compensate for the lack of energy by having the sound guy turn shit up, but that just kinda made everyone plug their ears a little.
anyways, brainbow was fantastic! they were like 5 meditating spirits up there! russian circles (also all instrumental, but with only 3 members to brainbow's 5) were crazy- one change after another.. so much so that it was hard to tell where anything was ending or beginning. also it was good to see such a crowd for a late show here in columbus (and in the summer, no less!)- as the condos and valet barricaded bourgeous restaurants push all the real art and music out into the streets to be impounded every first and third thursday for street cleaning, thank the universe that there are still music-related gatherings in town involving more than just the bands and a handful of regulars.
going to see pirate tonite at skullys.
anyways, brainbow was fantastic! they were like 5 meditating spirits up there! russian circles (also all instrumental, but with only 3 members to brainbow's 5) were crazy- one change after another.. so much so that it was hard to tell where anything was ending or beginning. also it was good to see such a crowd for a late show here in columbus (and in the summer, no less!)- as the condos and valet barricaded bourgeous restaurants push all the real art and music out into the streets to be impounded every first and third thursday for street cleaning, thank the universe that there are still music-related gatherings in town involving more than just the bands and a handful of regulars.
going to see pirate tonite at skullys.
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