almost done with school for the quarter. this one has been extremely rough- pulling 2 all nighters a week and only getting 3 hours of sleep the other nights... we've been really working hard. somehow no matter how much i want to complain about this, i feel this growing sense of accomplishment and that it will all be worth it. i feel like i've grown as an artist considerably and i think there is a new level that has been reached.

chris moved out from upstairs and we went up to roam about the empty space. i felt this strong, immediate connection with the energy there and i feel like i just want to move up there and leave this place behind. i think that as much as i love this apartment it doesn't work for me anymore. i talked to the property mgr and basically we wouldn't get charged an app fee or a deposit, and since we have a strong love for the magical back garden and porch and kitchen (which is really the ONLY thing that really works in this place for us), i feel like we can rent the whole house out for the summer, then let the downstairs go in late summer before school starts. i don't think amber is really eeling the same way about it, i think she doesn't want to let go of the back porch and kitchen at all, because she feels like she won't have anywhere to be- which is oddly how i feel now (especially with her need for isolation when she is making artwork or writing). there are sooooo many reasons why i think that the space would be more beneficial to us, both practical and metaphysical. i'm anxious, though, that the place will get rented out before we really have a chance to think about it or something and i'll have missed out on this opprotunity to make this major change (which i feel at this point is pretty necessary).

i've been trying to remember to post some of the work i've been doing on newroadcalling.com, but i've been so busy that i've only really posted the web art stuff i've done and nothing that amber has done. the summer will be good for getting all of this kind of stuff together, and also both of our portfolios, of course- both the ones for the BFA review we are doing in the fall as well as our personal portfolios.

this has been a really crazy month in particular, and i guess i don't really see it getting any easier. in fact i think i'm going to try and work as much as possible in th efree time left over, so that we'll have money for bonnaroo and potentially for rent on both apartments, should things work out that way. i think i can do it all- i've recently gained new confidence and understanding of what i'm capable of.